I am so grateful to be where I am. I am being given an extraordinary opportunity. But right now, I am uncertain how to navigate this role. I have the passion to move mountains but not the know how. How do I begin to change perceptions about students? How do I get teachers to see the power they have to negotiate the relationships with their students? How do I help teachers see their role as not being just that of a deliverer of curriculum?
I started the Intervention and Implementation project that was assigned for a Change class at USF. The Intervention is huge. It's not a Strategy group or an Instructional practice that I want to change. It's a perception. My I & I project is to change people (and myself in the process.) I know I have to start out small. I can't "will" everyone to be open-minded, committed, passionate, empowering individuals that embrace cultural diversity and build relationships with students. It would make my job a lot easier if I could. Some people are open to change, some people are completely opposed and some are not even aware that they need to be changed. So for this project, I decided to first start by shining a light on our beliefs and open dialogue about misconceptions that are founded in cultural ideas and looking at our students as people and our relationships with them. I rolled out the ideas I had to a small group of individuals that are charged with some aspect of leadership within the school. I rolled out a PLC on Why Culture Counts: Teaching Children of Poverty and was surprisingly met with some resistance. My thought is ...who doesn't want to perfect their craft as a teacher? Who doesn't want to improve their relationships with students? Who doesn't want to move mountains with me? The unsettling answer is MANY. In defense of SOME, it is not because they don't want to improve the conditions, but rather because they do not see a correlation between student achievement and success and them. For many students, the only person that will believe in them and hold them accountable to academic excellence is the teacher. What a powerful position to hold in the life of a child!! After my initial rollout, I was met with a few arguments of not enough time, the Union was called because I could not mandate teachers to read anything on their own and the statement/question that blew me away was "So teachers are going to be blamed for everything! You are making the teachers make changes, what are you making the students do?"
I responded by saying that because we were the skilled adults in the equation, we bear the responsibility of negotiating the terms of the relationships to effect change. What I really wanted to do was scream, but instead I went to my office, closed my door and cried. How do a few people not understand what an honor it is to be in the lives of these children? I don't know where to begin. I have reflected on my conversations with GCP and what my professors would expect from me and also what I expect from myself. I have learned that I have to put my energy into the "willing" and "open." I am going to run with the willing and realize that the voices of a few that stand in opposition are not the majority. I still don't feel like I know what I am doing. **Big sigh**
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